to write on this damn blog REGULARLY.  holy shit, am i ever a mess at this.

as much noise that fills my brain every day, and i can’t take 10 minutes to write some of it down?  pathetic.

time to fix that.

i hate the thought of getting old.

one of my wishes, if granted 3, would be to be for immortality. i would want to live forever. now i’d have some conditions…when i’m 900 years old, i don’t want to have the body and mind of a 900 year old man…just sort of freeze my age where it is now and let it rip. a lot more people than i would have ever expected would NOT choose immortality if given an option, for various reasons. one of my main reasons for wanting to hang around for the rest of time is that i want to see the world change…see PEOPLE change…i want to know how it all works out. i want to see if we finally get our shit together or if we just fuck it all up.

thing is, if i just take a look at how things have changed just during my lifetime, the thoughts of seeing a FOREVER of change seems a little depressing.

so, at the risk of sounding old, i just have to say that it makes me sad to see how much things have changed over the years and to realize how much more they are going to change. change can be good. just ask anyone around here who has made the switch from a dial-up connection to DSL about the change…take a peek at the Discovery Channel in High Definition…eat a piece of slightly undercooked pork without worrying about getting a hookworm…change, in many cases, is definitely good.

living where we do here in eastern kentucky, we have a lot of traditions and values that maybe folks other places in the country don’t share, or maybe even KNOW about. a lot of folks around my age and older have experienced things that kids in this region who are say 20 and under may never get the chance to experience…or maybe they won’t even recognize the significance of it when they DO experience it.

the reason this has all come up in the first place is that i’ve experienced one of those things just today (and more times over the past year or so than i care to have)…a funeral. a true, heartfelt, country funeral. for those of you who have experienced it, you know exactly what i’m talking about. for those of you who have not, my words will never do it justice.

the gentleman who passed away did so this past friday, march 16, 2007. his name was Mr. Sparks. he was a country preacher. he owned a sawmill. he had a wife that he loved more than anything in this world, and she, he. he had children. he had grandchildren, and he had great grandchildren, and no shortage of either. i didn’t know this man, but over the past few days, i feel as though i do. on sunday evening, at the funeral home, they had a visitation for the family and church members. we arrived late, but even then, there was a steady stream of people who spoke in front of the gathered group about the wonderful things this man had accomplished in his life on this earth. i saw men, young and old, with tear-filled eyes. i saw close friends struggle to overcome their grief long enough to speak about him, and i heard beautiful songs sung in his honor.

throughout the evening, i wondered if the younger kids who were there understood just how rare this type of even is these days. people pass away every day…visitations are held…funerals are given. but it is uncommon any more to see what i witnessed these past 3 days, and i only pray that those who were there realized the moment as they were in it.

today at the funeral, this man’s friends stood in front of a packed funeral home and sang gospel songs…guitars, mandolins, banjos…their voices choking back tears to sing. and as their songs carried through the air and into the hearts of those who were there, you could hear an “amen!” rise from the group once in a while. as the preacher stepped to the podium to speak, his eyes were filled with tears and his voice shook. but he found his voice, and he preached a beautiful funeral for this man, and voices called out “amen!”, and you could not help but be moved by all of it.

a man behind me asked if he could stand and say a few words, and the preacher said of course, brother. he rose and spoke about an event where he and Mr. Spraks had traveled to lexington to visit someone in the hospital, and prayed over them. in the waiting room, Mr. Sparks said that everyone that had gathered there was seeking peace and comfort and he asked if he could preach to them, and fell so silent that you could have heard a pin drop. the man said that was just the way Mr. Sparks was. thing is, this gentleman had only gotten out of the hospital TODAY, and traveled to the funeral home to honor his friend.

at the conclusion of the funeral, there was hardly a dry eye to be seen. it did not matter if it was a woman or a man, a child or someone getting along in their years, or someone in between.

my fiance told me that it made her very sad because Mr. Sparks was a true character…someone you meet who is larger than life, and to lose someone like that was just a tremendous loss. i completely agree. folks like that are few and far between, and as things keep on changing, i think the odds of any new ones coming along get pretty long.

so too do the odds of seeing what i’ve seen over the past few days very often. this was a true honoring of someone’s spirit, and it was hard to not be moved by it.

it just makes me wonder, as we continue to disconnect from our roots and our heritage…even here in eastern kentucky where we cling to those same roots and that same heritage far longer than most places….i just have to wonder who will sing gospel songs at OUR funerals? who will preach over us and who will shout “amen!” from the crowd? who will collect the pictures and stories of our lives and put them on display for all of those who love us to share?

last year when my mamaw was on her death bed in her home, some folks from the church my uncle attended came by. they brought food for the family. they cooked, they cleaned, and they stood at the foot of her bed and sang to her. i thought to myself at that time how beautiful of a thing that was right there…how i was witnessing something that not everyone will get to see in their lifetime, and that moment just felt so huge and so powerful to me all of a sudden.

i only hope that these and so many other traditions do not get lost in our rush to make life better…but i fear they are slowly passing away as we get more and more disconnected from the stories, struggles, and characters that make this life so beautiful and unique.

the mental party could be the hardest. part of the process was starting this blog. by clearing out some of the clutter in my head, i’m hoping it will make room for more ideas and creativity to come through. another thing i hope will help is continuing to learn to play the guitar. i’ve been playing semi-regularly since around thanksgiving of 2006, and i can already tell a big difference in my ability. it also seems to stimulate my brain, and that is always good. i also plan to read more in this new year. i have books i’ve just never gotten to, and i want to get to them this year.

i will also be moving some projects that i’ve kept on the back burner right up to the front. it is time to see if some of these ideas can pan out. i’m so bad about coming up with an idea, carrying it through about 70% of the way, but just not pushing it on across the finish line. then, i complain about seeing other people succeed with their ideas. i guess i’m afraid that maybe my ideas won’t work out, but until i’ve actually seen one of them through all the way, how will i really know?

i also plan to bust my ass on finishing my masters thesis in geology and finishing up that degree. it will mean a small bump in pay at work, but more importantly, i won’t feel like my 3 years of graduate school were wasted. after that, i may start work on another graduate degree in computer science and information systems, but i’ll just take it one step at a time.

so what about 2006? what stands out to me in this past year? what makes my top 10 countdown of Memorable Shit from 2006? let’s see…

10. i was pretty impressed by the democrats taking back over the US senate and house. i really didn’t think there was anyway they could do it. just goes to show you how pissed off and fed up the people in this country are with george bush, i suppose. now, we’ll see what these folks can do. they wanted the power, and now they have it. i’m hopeful we’ll see some good things finally.

9. another pretty big story this past year was the death of the crocodile hunter, steve irwin. it just seemed like that nut was gonna be around forever.

8. on a personal level, i got to travel to colorado twice in 2006. i hadn’t seen the mountains since my last geology field trip in 1999, and it had been way too long. the first trip was a driving trip, and it was miserably long. the second was on a plane, and it just reminded me of how much i love and hate flying. but man, the mountains. we got to see a lot of snow while we were there, but nothing like what they’ve been pounded with over the past few weeks. i hope it isn’t seven years between seeing the mountains again. if i do, however, the next trip will probably be by driving, due in large part to #7 on the list…

7. the crash of com air flight 5191 at bluegrass field in lexington, ky. this one makes the list not just because of the tragedy of the situation, but also the fact that it happened so close by. although i didn’t know anyone personally on the plane, i had to really pause for a while that morning as the story was being reported to think about whether or not i might have. turns out, a couple of local boys were almost scheduled to be on that flight, but chose a later flight instead.

6. on a happier note, my favorite sports team of all time, the Pittsburgh Steelers, finally…FINALLY!!…won a super bowl again! i became a Steelers fan the last time they won one, way back in the ’79-80 season, against the Rams, and i’ve waited and waited to see them win another one. it was a magical run, followed up by a VERY miserable season and now they have to search for another coach to replace the irreplaceable bill cowher, but i will continue to believe.

5. in another sports related story, rich brooks was able to not only take the University of Kentucky Wildcats football team to their first bowl game in 7 years, but he also led them to their first bowl win in 22 years. they were fun to watch, even if they did make it pretty stressful at times. here’s hoping 2007 will bring continued success.

4. the whole john mark karr fiasco was pretty big news this year, too. he basically comes out and admits to killing jon benet ramsey, but then forensic evidence proves he’s lying, and that he did NOT kill her, and so he then comes back and says…nah…i didn’t do it. what a nut. but this was a year for nuts, as we’ll see in #3.

3. celebrities gone wild. first, mel gibson goes into a rage after being picked up for drunk driving. he causes a HUGE controversy with his anti-semitic remarks, as well as referring to a female police officer as “sugar tits”. oh, braveheart. then, kosmo kramer goes nuts at a comedy club and yells all sorts of racist remarks at a couple of african american patrons who were heckling him and giving him a hard time on stage. unfortunately for him, the remarks are caught on someone’s cellular phone video recorder and, of course, are widely circulated within no time flat. kramer then goes on his apology world tour, which, to me, almost makes him look more insane than the on-stage blow up. i have more opinions on this story that i may share in another post soon. now, to close out the year, you have donald trump and rosie o’donnel going at it. add to that all of the britney spears sans panties photos that were everywhere on the internet, the Pageant Girls Gone Wild activity, and any number of other crazy celebrity news stories, and it was quite a memorable year for all those in tinsel town.

2. this was a good year for music, at least in my little world. sure, the radio airwaves are still corrupted by all kinds of horrible noise, but there are some great bands out there making some very good music, and i was lucky enough to discover a few of them this year, and rediscover a few, as well. one of the new discoveries included Wolfmother, who i had heard of but had never followed up on. this band has a very vintage sound and just rocks. you should check ‘em out. the big RE-discovery for me this year was the Black Crowes. they’ve always been my favorite band, but following their reunion in 2005, i was especially excited about them this past year. i was able to see them twice this year, but one of those shows was absolutely magical. me and my bride-to-be saw them in Louisville, KY, at the Louisville Palace Theater. i bought the tickets on ebay, and we were only 3 rows back. the theater was incredible, and the atmosphere was absolutely intoxicating. they played for 3 hours, and i could have listened all night long. i’m looking forward to at least 1 new release from the band this year, as well as another tour.

1. i’m sure there are other very memorable moments from this past year, and i’ll probably think of them later…but easily the MOST memorable moment of 2006 for me…i got engaged to the most beautiful and loving woman i’ve ever known. she is my soul mate. she makes me laugh and smile just to be around her, and she inspires me on a daily basis. i could never have imagined i’d meet someone like her, and this year, we will be wed. that, alone, should make 2007 a year that i’ll remember forever.

so there we go. a look back…a look ahead. it should be an interesting year.

today is the total reverse…it feels like this day has gone on forever, but it isn’t even 3 yet.

so why does that happen? i can’t be the only one it happens to. does it happen to you? what the hell causes this? anybody have stephen hawking’s phone number so we can figure this out? because we need to be asking him important questions like this before he is gone.

in other ramblings, i’ve been reading a book called “God and the New Physics”. i’m not very far along, and i’ve actually had this book for like 10 years and never went past page 11, but i’m making a go at it now. anyway…right now, the author is talking about matter and anti-matter, and how you cannot create one without creating the other. this creates a problem for the creation of the universe, because when matter and anti-matter meet, POOF! they wipe each other out.

turns out, at VERY high temperatures, like there would have been at the Big Bang, as matter is being created, there is 1 part-per-billion more matter created than there is anti-matter. so, for every billion “balls” (i like to think of matter in terms of being balls for some reason…)…for every 1 billion balls of antimatter that appear, there are 1 billion-and-one balls of matter. now, that don’t seem like a whole lot, but at the rates of creation we’re talking about during the big bang, it would add up pretty fast…trust me, this scientist said it, so it has to be true.

but, all of that leads me to this…are there anti-people? like, is there someone out there that is the total exact opposite of you, and if the 2 of you meet, will you disappear in a poof of pure energy? OR…maybe for every billion people created, there is one anti-person created, and so there are like 10 unlucky folks wandering around the earth right now (5 people, 5 anti-people), who have no idea that when they run into each other, it will not be pretty.

or maybe not. i don’t know. i was just really wondering about that whole time thing.

i went to the circus friday night, despite the fact that i don’t really care for the clowns…they sort of freak me out, really. it was the first time i’d been to the REAL circus, the ringling brothers circus. before that, i’d only seen some shitty little circus that used to come to our middle school.

i had a good time, despite the clowns.

saturday was one for the books. a former classmate and very good friend throws an annual gathering at his place of business to welcome the community and just say thanks for choosing to do business with him. i rode over with a couple of friends and met up with many more there. the evening was filled with good food, good stories, good live bluegrass music, and good cold beers. we all hung around until about 2am, and if the evening had just ended there, it would have been a full evening. however, there was more to come.

rather than try to retell it here, i’ll leave it to my lovely fiance, since she has already posted it to her blog.

it is the first post (August 20, 2006) located here on her blog. enjoy

anyways, be sure to take a look at the archives now, as i’ve added posts from way back. i set the date on them to the actual date they were posted…you can see i was pretty sporadic about posting then, too. =)

i thought i’d post the lyrics to a song by one of my favorite bands, the Drive-By Truckers. it is a song about Buford Pusser, kind of told from the perspective of someone on the OTHER side of the law. this band really kicks some serious ASS, and i got to see them in-person last week in Cincinnati…it was awesome. anyways, here are the lyrics:

Artist/Band: Drive-By Truckers
Lyrics for Song: The Buford Stick
Lyrics for Album: The Dirty South

Now Sheriff Buford Pusser’s gotten too big for his britches
With his book reviews and movie deals
Down at the car lot making public appearances
For breaking up our homes and stills
I know he likes to brag how he wrestled a bear
But I knew him from the funeral home
Ask him for a warrant, he’ll say “I keep it in my shoe”
That son of a bitch has got to go
That son of a bitch has got to go

Now they lined up around the block to see that movie
And crying for his ambushed wife
Marveling about about shot eight times and stabbed seven
Some folks can’t take a hint
They say he didn’t take no crap from the State Line Gang
What the hell they talking bout?
I’m just a hard workingman with a family to feed
And he made my daughter cry
Said he made my daughter cry

“Watch out for Buford!” is what they keep on telling me
But to me he’s just another crooked lawman up in Tennessee
He gets a new hot car to keep us on our toes
And that ridiculous stick where the press corp. goes
And some big time Hollywood actors playing him on the big screen

“Watch out for Buford! He’s shutting down our stills and whores”
But it ain’t like he’s all that different from what was there before
It wouldn’t take my man long to do the job
Just a partially sawed through steering rod
And I wouldn’t have to worry about the good Sheriff anymore
Now the funeral’s got’em lined up for twenty blocks
No one liked that SOB when he’s alive
But the ruckus he began keeps a spreadin’ like a wildfire
Not sure if I’m gonna survive

Hit an embankment doing 120 on a straight-away
The Lord works in mysterious ways
They’ll probably make another movie, glorifying what he done
But I’ll never have to hear them say
I’ll never have to hear them say

Watch out for Buford

i’ve only seen the crowes 3 times…in ’90 at rupp arena in lexington, opening for zz top, and that was a large crowd. saw them in ’97 at riverbend in cincinnati as part of the furthur festival, and that was a nice crowd (though hard to guage, as i think even most of the people that had pavillion seating ended up out on the lawn getting tall).

i saw them this year in louisville, with becky, at the palace, which is a small venue, and it was packed. we will be going again to riverbend in a couple of weeks.

all i know is that it makes me sad that i wasn’t able to attend more shows throughout the years, and i can only hope that this band stays together, in this form, for a long, long time to come. they are one of the last true rock and roll bands playing music today, and when they go, there will be an awfully large hole to fill.

i think that a lot of people have let them slip off of their radar after they didn’t follow up “hard to handle” or “she talks to angels” with the radio friendly material they wanted to hear. i have a couple of friends that just couldn’t stand any of the records outside of SYMM. i tried to pull them in, but they just got locked into the songs from that first album and weren’t willing to open up to the rest of the stuff.

SYMM was a GREAT album, as far as i’m concerned, and while there’s this little part of me that wants to dismiss it or not like it, just because it is the one that was popular, that is just silly and petty. “twice as hard” is still one of my absolute favorites, and when they played “jealous again” in louisville, i almost lost my freakin’ mind.

i think it happens a lot that some fans get alienated on a band’s 2nd album because they expect it to be just like the first one…pearl jam is a good example. because there wasn’t another “jeremy”, a lot of people that loved the first album just dissed the 2nd one and never came back for another listen.

my friends that dismissed southern harmony now think that some of the best crowes songs are from that album, and neither of them has been able to stop listening to the recording of the louisville show that i gave them. something interesting is that their favorites from the louisville recording are songs that they hadn’t even heard before. one of them is going with us to the cincy show, along with his wife, and i just know after that, they are going to be completely hooked. him even more than he is right now.

i’m not sure what the band could do any differently to try and encourage folks that think the only 2 songs they ever recorded were H2H and she talks to angels to give some of the other music a chance. i will admit that when amorica first came out, it wasn’t my favorite, but now, it is at the top of my list.

i just hope the crowes keep touring for years to come and just continue to play great rock and roll music, converting people all along the way. i think they are growing as a band, and i think all the jams that people are talking about this year are a sign of that growth. i could honestly see them start to pick up a lot of the folks that followed the dead as time and tours go on and start to position themselves as THE premier touring band in this country. it ain’t gonna happen over 1 or 2 summers, but i think it can happen.

anyways, this year has been my complete rebirth as a crowes fan. the passion never went away, and i never stopped arguing with anyone that would listen that they were the only band left that was making true rock and roll music…but seeing them in louisville just did something to me that was beautiful and sublime…my love for this band was renewed, and i witnessed the birth of a new fan…becky, who had never really even listened to them before, got completely absorbed by the whole vibe of the show right from the start when they lit the incense on stage before the band took the stage, and she fell absolutely in love when they played “title song”.

so no, they may not be making a whole lot of money on this or any other tour…but really, if it was just for the money, i don’t think they’d even be touring at all. and i think they are gaining some new fans along the way…because honestly, as incredible as they are on a studio recording, it cannot hold a candle to being right there…it has warped my mind, and i just want to follow them everywhere now.

but when it all comes right down to it, i’m just glad to know that they are out there every night, playing good rock and roll music in a laid-back, funky-ass vibe.

what more could you ask for?