MindRacket

emotions.

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 22:33:00 -0400

every day since the tornado, i just never know what it is that will set me off. something may make me completely angry, or i may just tear up for whatever reason.

on saturday, i had to take my vehicle to the insurance company in morehead to have the damage assessed. when i finished, i called home to check in, and beck said that after i left, a swarm of volunteers came down the street and piled in to our yard, and within no time, they had cleared the biggest part of the debris from our immediate yard. i sat in the parking lot and cried.

when i got home, there was a huge pile of brush in the yard, and i could see the remnants of our crabapple trees sticking up; and there, perched up in the limbs, just like he did when they were still standing, was a little mocking bird, just chirping away like he used to when they were standing, and it just broke my heart.

as i walked around the pile and saw the 2 little stumps where the crabapple trees had once been, i just fell apart. i loved those 2 trees…they were so beautiful in the spring, and they joined together in such a pretty way.

i knew their story…that irene’s family had given her those trees one year, and that they thought they were going to be pink, and they didn’t find out until spring that they had accidentally gotten white ones, instead.

and i can’t count the number of times that one of their branches had either knocked my sunglasses off my face or pulled my earphones out of my ears when i was mowing underneath them.

as i stood there having a breakdown in our yard, i knew it wasn’t really about the trees…so many people lost so many things that they loved dearly…homes…cars…belongings…things much more valuable than 2 trees…hell, people lost family and friends that they loved dearly…and this was just 2 crabapple trees…but there, in that moment, those 2 trees sort of encapsulated all of that loss for me…and the tears just flowed.

time to write.

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 23:34:00 -0500

on Friday March 2nd, 2012, an extremely strong and dangerous tornado swept across our county.

in its wake, it left families uprooted, possessions scattered, buildings flattened, and lives lost. it is probably the worst time i can ever remember here, and the scale of loss is one that i still don’t know if i fully comprehend.

since it started, i have told myself that i need to put words down somewhere…i need to write, start to heal…and it is sad to say that a lack of electricity has kept me from writing. as far as i know, we have pen and paper in this house.

but these last few days, the emotions just keep building, and if i don’t give it an outlet, it is just going to get ugly.

so it is time to write.

Oh Christmas Tree...

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 18:45:39 -0500

Took the Christmas trees out today. Snipped branches and made little nests around the blueberry plants to help make them happy.

Probably should use this fancy phone to post some pics.

"We have become efficient wasters."

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 16:32:57 -0500

“We have become efficient wasters.”

- Me

"Instagram is to photography what auto-tune is to music."

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 16:32:00 -0500

““Instagram is to photography what auto-tune is to music.””

- Me, though I can’t be the first to say it…and I’d absolutely be using it if it was available for Android. =)

"You will never leave where you are until you decide where you’d rather be."

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 13:51:03 -0500

““You will never leave where you are until you decide where you’d rather be.””

- Shared by a friend on Facebook (thanks Kopana!), and I really liked it.

ok, i’ll admit it. i’m a sucker for a good...

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 16:01:40 -0500

ok, i’ll admit it. i’m a sucker for a good manifesto.

i saw a Bo Jackson Nike ad in Rolling Stone once that i swore was going to change my life. i’m not sure if it did, but i have to believe that i took at least SOME of it to heart.

anyway…this is called the Holstee Manifesto…and you can read more about it here…but i saw this on Facebook yesterday, and it has moved me…quite a bit.

i hope it moves you, too.

Just not quite ready to let go of it yet…

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:20:23 -0500

Just not quite ready to let go of it yet…

Portlandia has become one of my new favorite shows. It airs on...

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 17:23:05 -0500

Portlandia has become one of my new favorite shows. It airs on IFC, and season 2 starts this Friday night.

If you missed season 1 (like i did), you can watch all 6 episodes on Netflix.

Even if you don’t watch them, you should be able to jump right in on season 2 just fine…it is a sketch show, so there aren’t any plot points you’ll be missing.

However…should you decide to watch, or maybe if you just want to know the premise, watch this video, which was the beginning of season 1, episode 1. It will give you all the background info you need…it both makes me laugh hysterically AND want to move to Portland, simultaneously.

Enjoy.

Where was this for Christmas?

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 16:01:23 -0500

Where was this for Christmas?

where i’d really like to be today.

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 14:35:35 -0500

where i’d really like to be today.

...and here we go!

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 09:20:33 -0500

it would be nice to say that i’m going to post something here at least once a day this year (as i post this on the SECOND day of the year), but…if my past blogging history is any indication, that may not be realistic.

however, i am going to TRY to post regularly…a photo, a quote…just something.

i have high hopes for this year, and keeping this place active is one of them.

let’s begin and see how it goes!